i am a bad interneter. if you took all the things i've written online over the years and compiled them into one massive blog, it would be a shit show. it's a terrible habit, this starting something then forgetting about it and coming back nearly a full year later.

i woke up on New Year's Day and decided i wanted 2012 to be a living my own truth, no matter what. what are we... 6 weeks in? thus far my sister nearly died, but came back strong and gave birth to my first nephew. my grandmother had a stroke. there's already been two more suicides in my extended social circle. i ended a 10 month long estrangement from my father and his family. i traveled to Manhattan for work and came back primed for transformation, only to return to my beloved desert where i experienced a major personal shift.

(that's the part that makes me laugh internally because i always wanted to do peyote in the desert like Jim Morrison for spiritual purposes. i didn't have to do anything other than get on a plane and be open to whatever was right in front of me.)

now i am creating an immense amount of change for myself in my home and my relationships. it should be terrifying but it's not in the slightest. i'm so ready. bring it.